Fight fires in your best clothes,
touch skin with your eyes closed

Age 22+Shit I am a post-grad+female

 

genderfluidstrider:

jaegerirl:

fartgallery:

when you die and become a ghost are you forced to wear what you were wearing when you died for eternity or can you go to like Ghost Gap and buy some new ghost clothes

if theres ghost capitalism i swear to fuck ill be so mad

overthrow the boogeoisie

I will admit it. I have read all three books in the Fifty Shades of Grey series.

I am not admitting this because I am ashamed of my sexual desires or even because I feel the need to rant and rave about the poor writing quality of these books. (And it is extremely poor. I set my Kindle to count how many times the word “gasp” is used in the third book and the total was more than 70). I am admitting this because I feel the need to share my opinions about what I consider to be the incredibly — and dangerously — abusive relationship portrayed in the books.

When I first heard about Fifty Shades of Grey and learned they began as Twilight fanfiction, I swore I would not read them. I have read all of the Twilight books and I did not enjoy them. I found the relationships between Edward and Bella and Bella and Jacob to be patronizing and emotionally abusive, and I also thought the writing was pedestrian at best and boring to read. Why would I devote the limited amount of time I have for reading for pleasure to a series like this?

But as the dialogue about Fifty Shades of Grey increased, both in the media and amongst my friends, my curiosity was piqued. I attended a talk titled “Fifty Shades of Grey - Bad for Women, Bad for Sex” and decided that I should see what all the fuss was about.

To quote the book, I gasped. I rolled my eyes. I even bit my lip a few times. But not for the reasons Anastasia, the protagonist, did. I did out of exasperation, boredom and disgust, but also out of fear. After reading this book series, I am deeply afraid that this type of relationship will be viewed as the romantic ideal for women. And I consider that to be extremely dangerous — much more so than anything that takes place between Christian and Anastasia in the Red Room of Pain.

Could the character of Anastasia Steele be any more of a stereotype? She is an introvert, has low self-esteem, has abandonment issues from her father, apparently has only one close friend who bullies her and even though she works in a hardware store, she doesn’t seem to possess any self-sufficiency aside from cooking for her roommate and herself. She seems to have no sexual identity until Christian Grey enters her life and requests that she become his Submissive in a sexual relationship.

In order to be Christian’s submissive, Anastasia is expected to sign a lengthy and detailed contract that, amongst other requirements, requires that she exercise four days a week with a trainer that Christian provides (and who will report to Christian on her progress), eat only from a list of foods Christian supplies her with, get eight hours of sleep a night and begin taking a form of birth control so Christian will not have to wear condoms. Anastasia negotiates a few terms of the contract with Christian (she only wants to work out three days a week, not four), but all of her negotiations are only within his framework — none of the terms are hers independently. Nothing in their relationship is hers as an independent.

The character of Christian Grey is a rich, superpowered businessman who was abused as a child. He is in therapy, and Anastasia frequently references his therapist, but based on how he treats Anastasia, he doesn’t seem to be making much progress. As Anastasia’s relationship with Christian progresses, his controlling tendencies affect her life more and more. When her friend takes portraits of her for his photography exhibit, Christian buys all of them, because he does not want anyone else looking at Anastasia. (They weren’t even in a relationship when he did this.) When she is hired as an assistant at a publishing company, he buys the company — to make sure she’s “safe” working there. When she goes out to a bar with her one friend, against his wishes, he flies from New York to Washington State that same night, just to express his anger — and exercise his control over her. When she does not immediately change her name at her office (in hopes of maintaining some professional autonomy, given that he bought the company she works at), he shows up, unannounced, at her office, in the middle of her workday, to pick a fight with her. When she asks why it is so important to him that she change her name, he says he wants everyone to know she is his.

Christian’s possession of Anastasia is the cause of much of my disgust and fear of the book’s influence on people and how they view romantic relationships. After they exchange their wedding vows, the first words he says to her are, “Finally, you’re mine.” The control he exercises over her does not reflect his love for her; it reflects his objectifying of her. Christian never views Anastasia as a person, let alone an independent woman. He wants her to obey him, and even though she refuses to include that in her wedding vows, it is exactly what she does. When her mother questions her choice to keep her wedding dress on rather than change before traveling for her honeymoon, she says, “Christian likes this dress, and I want to please him.” Her desire to try some of the “kinky fuckery” in his Red Room of Pain comes from wanting to demonstrate her love for him, not her own sexual desires.

Wanting to please Christian apparently includes subjecting herself to verbal and emotional abuse from him ‘til death do them part, because any time she tries to stand up to him — which isn’t often — he berates her, guilt trips her and beats her down verbally until she apologizes and submits to him. After she uses the “safe word” in the Red Room of Pain so he will stop, he bemoans his sad state of mind later, mentioning that his “wife fucking safe worded him.” He is not concerned with her well-being or why she felt the need to use the safe word. He only cares about how it affects him.

The question that I kept asking myself as I read the books was why Anastasia stayed with Christian, and the answer I found was that she has absolutely no sense of self worth. She only feels sexy when he says she is, and when he insults or patronizes her, she accepts what he says as the truth. One of the passages that disgusted me the most was when Anastasia was at a club with Christian, dancing and thinking to herself that she never felt sexy before she met him and that he had given her confidence in her body. Yes, being with a partner who frequently compliments you can increase your confidence, but Anastasia went from zero to one hundred thanks to Christian. None of that came from within herself. Because of his influence on her, nothing in her life came from herself — her job, her home, her way of life, or even her self-esteem.

The co-dependency between Anastasia and Christian is alarming to read and even more to contemplate. When she breaks up with him at the end of the first book, the second book finds her starving herself and wasting away to nothing until he contacts her again. When she thinks his helicopter has crashed in the second book, she thinks to herself that she can’t live without him. Their marriage only comes about because he is scared she will leave him, and when she asks what she can do to prove to him she isn’t going anywhere, he says she can marry him. Yes, origins of insecurity and desperation are a great start to a healthy marriage.

When Anastasia finds herself unexpectedly pregnant and shares the news with Christian, he rages at her, asking if she did it on purpose and storming out of the house, disappearing for hours. Even though Anastasia thinks to herself that the pregnancy happened too soon in their marriage, she never considers terminating it.

The themes of the novel — that love alone can make someone change, that abuse from a spouse is acceptable as long as he’s great in bed, that pregnancies should always be carried to term even if the parents are not ready to be parents, and the ridiculously antiquated, Victorian idea that the love of a pure virgin can save a wayward man from himself — are irrational, unbelievable and dangerous.

Our culture has seen a radical shift of ideals moving towards traditional gender roles and Fifty Shades of Grey is a shining example of that. Early marriage to one’s first sexual partner, having a baby even when saying neither of the partners is ready to be a parent, and submission to one’s husband as the head of the household are all aspects of life that feminists and progressive thinkers have worked to move beyond. Anastasia and Christian’s relationship is not romantic. It is abusive. The ways he tries to “keep her safe” are not masculine or sexy. They are stalking. Fearing one’s husband’s reaction to an unexpected pregnancy is not normal, because “boys will be boys.” It is sad and dangerous and should not happen in a healthy relationship.

Fifty Shades of Grey was one of the best-selling books of the year. Sex toy classes have been inspired by it, as have new types of cocktails. The film adaptation is already in the works. I sincerely hope that honest discussion will be had about the book and that the Christian Grey ideal of romance is not one that will be perpetuated throughout our culture. The best way that can happen is through open, honest dialogue that leads to healthy relationships of two equal partners. That, in my opinion, is sexier than anything that can happen in the Red Room of Pain.

androdjinni:

smearedwithscreams:

(Images should be read from the bottom, up.)

GoFundMe is allowing a campaign for people to donate money to Darren Wilson, the cop who killed Michael Brown in Ferguson, MO.

When called on this, and how it violates their ToS, GoFundMe’s response was to delete the hateful, disgusting, racist comments from the donations. They refused to end the campaign. Apparently it is only “promoting hate, violence, racial intolerance, or the financial exploitation of a crime” if people can see the deplorable sentiments behind the donations. Somehow deleting the evidence of those sentiments magically changes what those donations are for: rewarding a police officer for killing Michael Brown.

This is absolutely a direct violation of GoFundMe’s ToS, yet GoFundMe is refusing to act. These are people giving money to an individual that gunned down an unarmed black teen. He is profiting from this killing, and it directly promotes racial intolerance and violence. There is no reason why GoFundMe should allow this campaign to continue…

… Except that GoFundMe gets 5% of the cut. In this case, 5% of 235k is $12,500. GoFundMe and Darren Wilson both are profiting off the killing of Michael Brown, and GoFundMe has decided they’d rather take their cut of the money than follow their own ToS. $12,500 is apparently what it takes to abandon justice.

Please, join in the boycott of GoFundMe, and consider signal boosting this.

Thank you.

Go fund me has done other shitty things as well.

thebluelip-blondie:

2damnfeisty:

briellableu:

beautiesofafrique:

Newborn baby stuns doctors by holding her own bottle (in the UK)

A baby girl has amazed doctors with her ability to hold her own feeding bottle. Two-week-old Ammra was able to grasp her bottle alone just three days after she was born at Queen’s Hospital, Romford in Essex, her mother Onyi Chiedozie said.The 20-year-old, who is using a combination of breast and bottle feeding, said doctors and nurses were stunned by the baby’s ability to master her strong grip so soon after she was born.

Source

Black excellence 

she hungry, she ain’t got time to wait for y’all to hold her bottle.

"dis milk hittin’ y’all got sum more of dis shit right here?"

haussofkm:

sheenvelopesthenight:

thighetician:

tarynel:

neptunelovedme:

jaundiceyeyes:

#warready

😩😩😩😩😩

Shit.


I mean, its a fair warning.

By any means necessary

It’s funny but the fact that it’s come to this is sad.

haussofkm:

sheenvelopesthenight:

thighetician:

tarynel:

neptunelovedme:

jaundiceyeyes:

#warready

😩😩😩😩😩

Shit.

I mean, its a fair warning.

By any means necessary

It’s funny but the fact that it’s come to this is sad.

(Source: rolandchangsuperpositiveasian)

Anonymous asked
How do you fee about all these new Black celebs coming out the woodwork?

In 1860, 99% of all black people worked for whites. Today, 98% of all black people work for whites. You are enjoying a social illusion because you go to someone else’s restaurant, but you don’t own a restaurant yourself.

Dr. Claud Anderson.  (via curvesincolor)

transrants:

a-little-bi-furious:

transrants:

idopaint-themgreen:

the-fury-of-a-time-lord:

lgbtqblogs:


Two brides have become two of the most kickass women in the world by marrying to protest against homophobia in Russia.
Alina Davis, a 23-year-old trans woman, and Allison Brooks, her 19-year-old partner, donned matching white floor-length bridal gowns and married at a civil registry office earlier this month.
As Davis is still legally regarded as male, the office had no choice but to hand them a marriage certificate.
The couple said officials chided them, and appeared to be violent.
‘She called us the shame of the family and said we need medical treatment … I was afraid my pussycat [an affectionate pet name in Russian] would beat the fuck out of her,’ Davis said on her VK page.
But the couple were allowed to sign the papers, meaning a gay couple in Russia are legally recognized as married – even if it’s through a loophole. ‘This is an important precedent for Russia,’ Davis said.
Russia banned same-sex marriage and outlawed ‘gay propaganda’ in 2013.


holy jesus look at these two warrior princesses
they are my heroes
YOU GO GIRLS

"Oh, you don’t wanna recognize my gender? Okay then lol guess you have to recognize my marriage"
that is amazing

TRANS EXCELLENCE

Okay but other reports state that Alina identifies as androgyne but feels more comfortable as a woman, it definitely is trans excellence but the label she uses is not reported correctly here.

Thanks for the info! (This means it’s not only trans excellence but also NONBINARY EXCELLENCE YEAH!)

transrants:

a-little-bi-furious:

transrants:

idopaint-themgreen:

the-fury-of-a-time-lord:

lgbtqblogs:

Two brides have become two of the most kickass women in the world by marrying to protest against homophobia in Russia.

Alina Davis, a 23-year-old trans woman, and Allison Brooks, her 19-year-old partner, donned matching white floor-length bridal gowns and married at a civil registry office earlier this month.

As Davis is still legally regarded as male, the office had no choice but to hand them a marriage certificate.

The couple said officials chided them, and appeared to be violent.

‘She called us the shame of the family and said we need medical treatment … I was afraid my pussycat [an affectionate pet name in Russian] would beat the fuck out of her,’ Davis said on her VK page.

But the couple were allowed to sign the papers, meaning a gay couple in Russia are legally recognized as married – even if it’s through a loophole.

‘This is an important precedent for Russia,’ Davis said.

Russia banned same-sex marriage and outlawed ‘gay propaganda’ in 2013.

holy jesus look at these two warrior princesses

they are my heroes

YOU GO GIRLS

"Oh, you don’t wanna recognize my gender? Okay then lol guess you have to recognize my marriage"

that is amazing

TRANS EXCELLENCE

Okay but other reports state that Alina identifies as androgyne but feels more comfortable as a woman, it definitely is trans excellence but the label she uses is not reported correctly here.

Thanks for the info! (This means it’s not only trans excellence but also NONBINARY EXCELLENCE YEAH!)

cultureunseen:

America is your neighborhood and whatever happens is on your watch!

You say that you are better than your Fathers, then prove it…