It’s gloomy outside, and I’m feeling morose, so LET’S TALK ABOUT MY FAVORITE EXTINCT SPECIES!
This is my honey sweetie baby Martha, who was the last surviving passenger pigeon. September will mark the 100th year since her death. When whitey arrived on the North American continent, there were billions of these guys. They are thought to have been the most numerous bird on the planet at that time.
“While visiting friends in New England, sitting in the kitchen suddenly the sky became dark, there was no light in the room, and a rumbling noise grew louder, I was certain it was a tornado”. When his friends saw how frightened he was, they exclaimed, “Oh, its only the pigeons flying overhead”
Did you know we once had parrots native to the US? Carolina parakeets. Hope those 19th century women enjoyed their stupid fucking feathered hats.
These birds are great auks. Hope they were the tastiest god damn things you ever ate, white people.
There’s a part in Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency about going back in a time machine to see the dodo, but not interfering because it isn’t their place to change history. It makes me cry every time.
Whether or not the ivory-billed woodpecker is extinct is still up for debate. They lived in undisturbed backwood swamps where few people venture, so some people speculate that they might still be out there somewhere. Cornell’s ornithology lab claims to have video of one from 2004, but the footage is questionable at best. So who the hell knows?
To end on a high note, let’s talk about my little babies the black robins again.
This little lady is Old Blue, who is literally the mother of all black robins. In 1980 she was the only fertile female left, but my hero Don Merton tried a technique called cross-fostering, in which every time she laid eggs, he’d remove them from the nest and place them in the nest of a similar species of bird, which raised them. Old Blue would just lay more eggs. it was so successful that there’s now about 300 of them, and they live exclusively on two islands off the coast of New Zealand, that only have about 800 acres between the two of them, SO PRETTY GOOD.
STICK IT TO THE MAN, BLACK ROBINS.